Over 40 and Overwhelmed about Entrepreneurship
Part 3 – Approval
It’s amazing how this can really either kick start our business or kill it before it begins.
Approval is not about some co-dependent need to have people like you or hearing you are good enough but lack of it can contribute to being an overwhelmed entrepreneur.
It’s about feeling like somebody has your back no matter what. Even though you may try and fail they won’t give you the old “told ya so” routine or worse not say anything but you can sense the negativity.
Start By Telling Your Family and Closest Friends
You need to have the most important people in your life involved with your goals. Once you tell them, you will get one of three responses.
a. They are very supportive. They ask questions. They act excited and want to know more. They also want to know if they can help and what your exit strategy is from your existing job/work.
b. They don’t think it’s a good idea and immediately start giving you objections. You can tell it’s going to be an uphill battle. Regardless of your situation and how you frame it for them they can’t get past the “security” of having a j-o-b.
c. They act supportive but not excited. They don’t ask a lot of additional questions and unknowingly may give you objections. For instance, they might say “I really want you to succeed and be happy. Maybe it would be best to wait until after the holidays when everything dies down and then you can see about doing this full time.” It’s hard to gauge if they are really on board with your plan or if they secretly think it’s a huge mistake.
There are many variations of those responses but they are typical. Regardless of what happens you have to believe in yourself. The approval process for friends and family can take time for those in the b and c category.
From the Beginning Be A Professional not An Amateur
Persistence and enthusiasm are your tickets to winning this effort. You have to show them you’re serious and not just going to make a ‘stab’ at it.
Check out a couple of books by Steven Pressfield – ‘Turning Pro’ and ‘The War of Art’.
These give some insight about the differences between what professionals do and what amateurs do. Don’t be an amateur or you’ll never have the complete support from your family and friends.
Acting professional means you are professional. Are you the kind of entrepreneur who wants to work from home in your sweat pants? That’s fine but you have to earn it. Don’t expect your spouse to take you seriously if you aren’t acting serious. Once you hit some success then you can sleep til noon.
– Hint – Once you really start being successful as an entrepreneur you won’t want to sleep late. You’ll be so excited all the time you can’t wait to jump out of bed and get to work because for us the lines between work and play are very blurred.
Having approval from family or friends does not mean they should just give you pep talks. Approval means you need them to provide honest feedback as well.
Express Your Vision with Clarity and Enthusiasm
You want to have a conversation with whoever is most important in your life. Talk to them about your vision, your dreams and what you would like to do.
Even though they’re going to be biased one way or another, honestly listen to their feedback. Read between the lines. If possible, get them involved at least on some level. Let them help you write a blog post or do a social media status updates.
Give them something they don’t have to put a lot of effort into but can still feel a part of the process. Ask them to do some of the minor things which have to be done and take up way much of your time but don’t really move your business forward in large leaps.
Your job is to be on the 20 side of the 80/20 rule. You only do the 20% of things that yield you 80% of results. Read Perry Marshall’s book 80/20 Sales and Marketing. It will change your outlook and possibly your life.
Can You Be Successful With A Less Than Supportive Family?
If you are wondering whether or not you can be successful without having support from family and friends the answer is yes. However the old saying “No man is and island” applies. This obviously applies equally to men and women.
We do need positive and supportive people in our lives. So if you are having a challenge getting that from the people who are closest to you, it is imperative you should seek out local as well as global people who share your same ideals.
Find a meetup group, join Toastmasters or the local Chamber of Commerce and go to those functions. Find a mentor and a strong peer group. Join some LinkedIn and Facebook groups with other Entrepreneurs like Freedom Hackers or Smart Passive Income. Connect and be consistent. If you join any of these, commit to being involved. Don’t just lurk around reading you have to participate.
We All Need A Mastermind Group
Here is another great way to help – Find a Mastermind group. If you can’t find one start a mastermind group, I did! No excuses.
[ If you want to know how to start a mastermind group you can read my blog post here – How to Start a Mastermind Group ]
The point is don’t isolate. You need people in your life to bounce ideas off of and to give feedback where applicable.
Next on our agenda is: What Type of Business Should You Start?
(If you already have a business this post will also cover how to know if you are in the right business.)
If you would like to ask me any questions you can either schedule a Free 30 Minute consultation on the right side of the page which shows my available time. You can also go to the Ask Ben page.
All the best,
If you would like to read the first two blog posts in this series –